Can someone give me some biblical advice on how to keep pressing on with abusive husband.?

My husband is not physically abusive anymore but he is extremely jealous , verbally and mentally abusive. He checks the phone and computer behind me, accuses me of looking at other men on tv, magazines and real life. it is getting to much for me now. I have been praying but I am not happy, he criticizes and accuses me EVERYDAY.I go to bed unhappy everynight and in the morning he acts like nothing happens, he doesn't apologize when he finds out he is wrong about things. He calls me names in front of kids.he says in the morning, its a new day, so I'm not suppose to be upset about previous day but he eventually finds something to say or accuse about later in the day.What do I do? It is a new year and I'm expecting to be happy this year. I'm stressed to the max.I try to be peaceful but inside I am hurting inside.I pray for change and god gives me peace in my heart then here comes my husband, arguing or saying something negative.I have never THOUGHT about cheating, leaving yes, but no other man.Can someone give me some biblical advice on how to keep pressing on with abusive husband.?
Have you ever heard that ';God helps those who help themselves';? It's not enough to pray for change, you must WORK for change, and there comes a point where you must INSTIGATE change.





Divorce is never a good thing, but compared with living with abuse like you're talking about, it can be the best alternative. Do you think God wants you to suffer forever? Why would Jesus have worked the Atonement, if you are not meant to have the opportunity to be happy and live a good life?





You know, there's a great story about a man who was warned that he was in danger of being in a flood. He prayed to God to help, and after a little while, there was an emergency notification on the radio for everyone in his area, to evacuate....but he remained, saying he trusted in God to save him.





As the water around him rose, he prayed again.





And after a little while, along came a man in a boat, who offered to take him to safety. But he shook his head -- ';Nope, i'm trusting in God,'; he said, and remained.





A little while later, a helicopter flew by and a man shouted out, ';Come on, you're going to drown if you don't come with me!';





But the man shook his head again, and said, ';I'm trusting God to save me!'; and he let the helicopter go by.





Soon the man drowned in the flood, and when he found himself standing before God, he asked, ';Why didn't you help me-- I trusted in You to save me!';





And God replied, ';I sent you a radio announcement, a man with a boat, and a helicopter -- but you refused all of them; what were you expecting, anyway???';





This story has a good moral to it: USE THE BRAIN GOD GAVE YOU, take advantage of the opportunities (or learn what they are) to solve your problem!





Good luck --


~GaiaCan someone give me some biblical advice on how to keep pressing on with abusive husband.?
How can you have a successful marriage when you don't even trust each other? Aside from what all the abuse and mistrust does to you - what is it doing to the kids?! If your husband can't work out his issues, and if your are not happy in your marriage, you need to do what is best for you and the kids and get out of the marriage.
The first 13 years of my life were spent at the mercy of an abusive alcoholic step father. It took me years to undo the damage caused and I still have nightmares at the age of 30. Get out, if not for yourself then for your children. Get help. Do not make the same mistake my mother did. I've been down that road, there is nothing good there.
You need more advice that can be given here on this forum.


I would advise you to read some Christian books that are based on the Bible.


Gary Chapman is a marriage counsellor who has written several Biblically based books on marriage and how to make it work.


The two that I can think of right now are.


';Covenant Marriage'; and ';The five languages of love.';
bablical advice. (ok somewhere i forgot which chapter it said but it states ''what God has put together no man or no one shall put apart) soo really the vowels and stuff agreeing to them


but i dont know l0l in reality but your husband is really bizarre talk to someone about it before i gets to late ...talk to your husband or leave him for a week and see how he gets on





hope it helps !
Find a Woman's' shelter in your area and take your kids and get out. He is mentally ill, period. He is abusing your children by abusing you and nothing will change until he gets help. He probably wont see a problem with his attitude but I can assure you,it will only get worse.
You need to get out, and get out NOW!


you should not be looking for a reason or advice to stay in this relationship.


Get your kids and get out.


It says in the bible a man can sell his daughter into slavery, you're going to listen to something that allows this type of behavior? Not even in Los Vegus ca you do that!





get out. Please
You guys need some counseling although he'll probably disagree, but either way, you should tap into whatever local resources are available and speak with someone qualified to help.





Even if he refuses to go, you should still make the effort and follow the advice they will give you. You are not alone in this situation, there are so many others in similar circumstances. Do a search and contact them sooner rather than later.





I do wish you well.....
Leave! you know its only going to escalate again, he's just looking for a reason to hit you. and your kids see this. Do you want your daughters to marry abusive husbands? do you want your sons to become abusive husbands? You must show them that this kind of attitude towards woman must not be tolerated. Get out, or stand up to him. preferably with a cast Iron frying pan. or a gun
protect yourself and the children...a toxic relationship is harmful to everyone....until he can get himself straightened out I would get out....





he is angry at the world or himself for something and needs to deal with it by himself...
Here is some non-biblical advice.





Leave the twat!





Psychologocal abuse is a form of domestic violence.
Ask your church for some help. Perhaps they have counseling services.


Just because you are religious doesn't mean you have to put up with being abused. Your kids certainly deserve better than that.
Leave. Now. Take your kids and get the f*** out. Change your phone number and never, ever contact him again.
Regardless of your religion, I think you should leave him.
Drop the jerk. I'll take you.
Your children will grow up to treat you the way your husband treats you... so you decide.
LEAVE. Take your kids, and LEAVE. Screw the bastard.
Come to my place. :D
My wife persevered and now we are one. She coped through prayer and many a tearful night. You can only live a life approved of God and pray for your husband. I hate to tell you this but you are not guaranteed a happy life only a safe landing.





You have two options. Continue on and keep up the prayer and fasting for your husband and children. Second you can separate and take the kids with you. I would avoid divorce but that can take place as well but as you said not to re-marry. This way you allow God room to work in both of your lives and opportunity to renew each other should he return to God.
Read Proverbs 31 continue praying ask God to help you to be the best wife that you can be ask him to reveal why your husband is jealous and how you can help the marriage to be a marriage of him and his word. Are you and your husband equally yoke? (Both of you believe in God). Have you sat down with your husband and asked him why he feels jealous? Generally people don't go into a relationship jealous it is something that has happened within the relationship that causes jealousy. When it comes to the computer, tv or magazines ask him to sit with you so he can be a part of your life. Ask your husband how he feels that you can be a better wife. Also read James 1:2-4.
You are in serious physical danger. Your children are learning to immitate your husband and yourself.





You are describing the classic ';grooming'; period of an abusive spouse. This will escalate. It may take years, but it will. Meanwhile you will be turned into a defensive mush that has no way left to leave. Your girl children will learn to be easy targets. Your boy children will learn to abuse. For THEM you owe it to yourself to call a battered women's shelter %26amp; start laying out a plan to leave. Don't confront your husband. Do the planning first. Talk to your doctor, the police, and any hotlines you can find. THEY can help from a religious perspective too.





You're lucky, you spotting this early on, but your in big risk trouble.





As for verses, it's clear that a husband is supposed to act loving towards a wife, be a partner. Marriage is about a union that supports each other %26amp; gives you strength to care for children. This isn't that.





Please, please, take care of yourself. TODAY. Right NOW, make the call. Call the police if you need to get the shelter's number.
Is your husband saved? If so, then he is simply immature and there hope that God will speak to him. If not, then the Bible says, ';God has called you to peace.'; (1st Corinthians 7:15). That means divorce is sometimes ok in God's eyes. But the next verse says, ';How do you know, O wife, if you will not save your husband?'; This means that the wife's faith in Christ, and her behavior can lead to her husband being saved. There is great power in turning the other cheek, and in forgiveness. Abusive people abuse others for many complex reasons. The bottom line, is they feel hurt and let down by someone. Insecurity and resentment builds and the Devil plays upon these feelings. They take it out on the most gentle and innocent victim, in so doing, re-enacting the abuse that was done to them.





Always be led by the Holy Spirit, who will give you a sense of ';peace which passes all understanding.'; This peace means God has a plan if you can hold out.





Remember, there is a time, even as a Christian, for real honesty. It needs to come at the right time in order to be received. Cry out to God first for the right words to say, then if God gives the opportunity, speak your heart, but watch the choice of words. Let your words be of ';grace, sprinkled with salt.'; The salt will burn strong enough.





Growing in faith, is only possible through testing. Allow this pain to cause you to know ';the fellowship of his sufferings.'; (Philippians 3:10)








Yours in Christ, Nick
Perhaps you could point out that your children are supposed to 'honor their mother and father', but since he is insulting you in front of your kids, they are going to have trouble having respect for their parents.





My non-biblical advice would be for you to seek counseling. Other people are telling you to dump the guy, which is a good idea, but I think you should give your marriage a chance before you end it. Even a religious marriage counselor would be able to help you and your husband. You could go by yourself and learn how to deal with your husband's abuse, or the two of you could go and your husband would learn how to express himself without being abusive.





Giz
for the bible to provide u advice...the stuff its toking about has to exist first.. n i dun tink god or jesus is going to pop outta the bible to help u..sorry tis might be disrespectful oof ur religion but i reli think u shld be taking control of tis situation..help urself no book is going to help u unless they r self help books ultimately u have to make a decision..if ur children r old enuff to understand n handle a seperation den go for it sounds like ur husband is a real @$%^%26amp;
Biblical advice? From a book that regards women as property?





Take the kids and leave. Emotional abuse has the same effect as physical. Prayer won't help you or change him. Nothing will change him short of brain damage. Action will change your situation. GET OUT.
What should you do, how should you cope? That is something you need to address carefully and prayerfully. Try to be in close relationship with other ladies...Maybe there's someone at church you can talk with about what is going on, or neighbors, or relatives...even people at the grocery store. As much as you are able, surround yourself with support. He sounds very controlling.





Sometimes in situations like this, we begin to feel as if we are going crazy and begin to doubt our own sanity. We feel like we are making it up. If you can, document what is going on. Especially if he becomes physically violent.





There is someone very close to me who left her husband because he was abusive. She left with her young children and started a new life for herself. She was so afraid that God would be angry with her because of her choice. But God is a loving God. He loved her so much that He died for her. I think He was hurting along with her through all the years that she was abused and that He rejoiced in her freedom.





Here is an article on a Biblical approach to emotional abuse--


http://silverreflection.tripod.com/speak…





When I googled ';Biblical perspective abuse'; a bunch of good articles came up. I'm sure you'd find a ton.





Hope this helps.


All the best to you, whatever you decide.


(((Hugs)))
No biblical advice as I am an Atheist but common sense advice yes...Get out of there. He will not change and your life will just be miserable.


I have several friends who are now divorced. They tried marital guidance and mediation but it came to nothing. All their men remained ignorant, arrogant, violent and abusive even blaming their partners for making them act that way. One of my friends was dragged across the floor by her hair and yet he still claimed it was her fault. Another got the sullen, silent treatment for days if she put something in the wrong cupboard or didn't cook the meal he wanted.


The best of all was my friend who was told she had to watch her husband having sex with someone else in their own house and then have sex with him and her afterwards.


Some men are just not good husband material. Go find yourself a better one!
F*ck him, take the kids, clean out all your bank accounts, and leave him forever. Don't look back, just leave him.


(when I say fu*k him, I don't mean literally, I mean metaphorically)


He's a loser, you deserve to be happy, and so do your Kids. Nearly 40 years ago, I was one of those kids, and to this day, I thank the memory of my Mother for getting out of such a relationship, and I haven't seen or heard from my abusive Father since.


DO IT!
talk to your pastor or couselor or try to get him to see a marriage couselor with you